Apples & Bananas
by Whose Liner
Summary: A simple word mispronunciation causes a minor misunderstanding to erupt into a full blown argument between a certain farmhoof and fashionista...


**Disclaimer:** As I stated in my previous MLP story (Please check out "_Methodical Mares_" if you haven't already!), all hail Lauren Faust for creating a new brand of "_My Little Pony_" and showing us that friendship is indeed magic! Now...on with the story!

* * *

**My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - Apples & Bananas**

Looking for a lovely little town to live? Searching for someplace serene where you can sample its succulent splendor as well as bask and bathe in its bountiful beauty? Well, let me be the first to tell you that the journey is over!

One needn't look any further than Ponyville! It has just about everything and anything you could want!

Need a gorgeous gown for a romantic night on the town? The Carousel Boutique is the place to be! Wanna rot both your teeth and mind at the same time? For the right amount of money, Sugarcube Corner will let you name your own sugar rush! Feel like expanding your education or reading up on obviously obscure observations? The Golden Oak Library's book collection has all and tells all! (And its inhabitant definitely **thinks** she knows all, too.)

If you're as hungry as a lion, the town's marketplace offers a variety of fruits, vegetables and other assortments of nutrition. One of the big winners are the scrumdiddlyumptious **apples!**

Provided by the hard-working Apple family, these ponies go to great measures to ensure their apples (and all related products) are of the best variety they can offer.

On the beginning of this lovely spring day, the smiling orange earth pony Applejack straightened her Stetson hat and took a deep breath, but wasted no words as she headed out of her house and tended to the apple bucking on her orchard located smack dab in the middle of the area known to all as Sweet Apple Acres.

As numerous and taxing as her mandatory tasks were, the positive feelings of accomplishment (in addition to making a profit from the fruits of her family's labors) overrode any physical stress or mental exhaustion she endured on an almost daily basis and instead filled her heart with pride and satisfaction.

* * *

**BAM!**

Yet another barrel filled itself to the brim with brightly colored apples. Applejack was giving her hind legs their usual workout, as they kicked each individual apple tree with equal force.

The loud smacking noise generated by the bucking of the trees is what probably masked the near-equal volume of a dull boom that came from town. (Rumors would later circulate that Rarity had something to do with it.) But whatever the reason, Applejack didn't seem to notice it.

"Whew!" she exclaimed, slightly fatigued.

It was now sometime past noon by the time the freckled mare finished most of her apple bucking. Granted, there was a small number of trees that still needed to be cleared, but with her strong, older (and taller) brother Big McIntosh sharing the chores, it wouldn't take too much longer to complete, allowing her to move on to other things that had to be done on the farm.

As she wiped a few beads of sweat off her brow, something noticeably bearing a little more weight pelted the top of her head; rather, a few "somethings" dropping from above. Quickly recognizing the objects as envelopes, Applejack's brain put it all together.

"Gosh darn it, Derpy!" she complained. "Watch where yer droppin' that stuff, wouldja?"

Indeed, the said grey-coated, blonde-maned pegasus (with a legendary penchant for clumsiness) was floating a few feet above the farm girl, flashing her trademark oblivious smile.

"Mail's here!" she announced a bit after the fact.

"Uh, yeah...so I gathered," Applejack sarcastically noted.

"See ya later, Apple-gator!"

"Wha...?"

As Derpy waved goodbye, A.J. tried to make sense of what the mailpony had just said. But those thoughts were put on hold when she saw what Derpy didn't, since the flying mare still had her head pointed towards the farm.

"Hey! Watch out for that-"

**CRASH!**

"...tree."

After roughly two seconds of struggling free of the branches and leaves (some of which got entangled in her mane and tail), the pegasus resumed her course towards Ponyville; an impressive feat, considering that a pair of apples got stuck to her eyes, completely obscuring her vision.

Derpy lightly smacked the back of her head, causing the apples to dislodge and fall to the ground. Everything that happened up to that point had occurred so fast, Derpy initially couldn't make sense of the direction she was moving in.

Which was probably why she failed to notice that she was zigzagging downwards at a frightening velocity, causing some of the townsfolk to take cover.

Back on the farm, Applejack watched in semi-horror as the airborne mare in the distance warned everypony in Ponyville to make room for her zillionth crash landing.

"WHOOOAAA! LOOK OUT BELOW!"

By strange coincidence, she ended up slamming into a longtime friend of hers, a stallion named Time Turner. The collision kicked up a huge cloud of dust.

A fellow pegasus by the name of Rainbow Dash and her friend Rarity were nearby, unable to take their eyes off what had just transpired.

"My word!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Yep...that's Derpy for ya," confirmed Rainbow. "Whatcha saw was about par for the course...for **her**, anyway."

* * *

Applejack shook her head after witnessing Derpy go down in a less than preferable way.

"That pony's really gotta get her act together..." she said to herself. "Otherwise she's gonna find herself in **wagonload** a' sticky situations!"

Going back to work, Applejack (along with her brother) made a remarkable amount of progress of her mental list of things to do in what took only a little over an hour.

Since things were rolling along ahead of schedule, she decided to fulfill a promise to a friend of hers.

The fashionista Rarity had recently assisted A.J. through a very trying ordeal about a week ago, and she made it a point to pay her back. Both gals were as generous and caring as the next pony, but despite the fact that both parties often assured the other that such favors needn't be reciprocated...every once in a blue moon, Applejack felt consumed to break her own personal law and do it anyway.

That "ordeal" WAS pretty intense, after all.

She strapped on her saddlebags with each one holding a small container of cider, arguably the Apple family's most treasured and sought after beverage (especially by one freaky fanatic called Rainbow Dash). Of course, the package wouldn't be complete without a basket of apples whose high quality was painstakingly appraised by the watchful eye of Granny Smith.

Now all that needed to be done was to trot on over to the Carousel Boutique and-

"That movie was **wicked** cool!"

Applejack's eyes moved on their own, and they spotted her little sister; an adorable, yet spunky little filly by the name of Apple Bloom. Accompanying her back to the farm were her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, whose voice was the one A.J. had heard.

"Welcome back, Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Applejack enthusiastically greeted.

"Heya, sis!" Apple Bloom cheerfully replied.

"So...what kinda **mischief** have y'all gotten inta today, hmm?"

"No more than usual," Sweetie Belle said.

Half of Applejack's mind kept insisting that Sweetie's statement was purely innocent, while the other half didn't feel reassured by that quote in the slightest.

"Be cool, A.J.!" Scootaloo quipped. "We caught a movie, that's all! Rainbow Dash gave us free tickets!"

The blonde mare sighed in relief before speaking again.

"Shucks, that was mighty nice of her! Say...ya didn't see '_Pit Pony_' now, didja? That flick **ain't** fer kids!"

"Of **course** not, big sister a' mine!" claimed Apple Bloom in a sickly sweet voice.

Her two cohorts snickered and giggled, leading Applejack to believe her feelings of relief were premature. She couldn't help but give them a suspicious eye as they began to walk off. That might have been the end of the conversation...but then her ears picked up something else of interest. It was the sound of three little fillies singing a very odd song unknown to Applejack.

Specifically, a little diddy that went something like this...

"I like to eat, eat, eat...apples and bananas! I like to ayt, ayt, ayt...ay-ples and baynaynays! I like to eet, eet, eet...eeples and beeneenees! I like to ote, ote, ote...oples and bononos! I like to oot, oot, oot...ooples and boonoo-"

"Now, see here!" interrupted Applejack. "What's all this **hooey** 'bout oples and bikinis and whatnot?"

The trio known to practically all of Ponyville as the Cutie Mark Crusaders naturally laughed at the older pony's confusion.

"No, no, no..." Sweetie calmly said, shaking her head. "It's a song where you swap out the regular vowels for other ones, making the words sound all silly!"

"Huh. Well, that's gotta be the strangest diddy that _**I**_ ever heard!"

"Wouldn't be much of a song otherwise!" Scootaloo pointed out. "ONWARD! To the clubhouse!"

"YEAH!" the other two Crusaders cheered. "I like to ote, ote ote...oples and bononos! I like to..."

A.J. stroked her chin and tried hard to make sense of the song's validity.

* * *

The distance between Sweet Apple Acres and the Carousel Boutique wasn't very far, although Applejack's journey took a little longer than usual, what with her full saddlebags and the basket she was carrying in her mouth.

However, her slow movement was (mostly) due to her thoughts about that weird song the Crusaders had mentioned. It was starting to get stuck in her head and the lyrics were just as perplexing as ever.

_Honestly...oples and bononos? OPLES AND BONONOS? Whoever heard of such a ridiculous thing? If I'd constantly used the word "ople" when I was Oplebloom's age, Granny Smith would __**never **__let me git away with it! All mah ople-bucking duties would be revoked! Oples, oples, oples...oh, that's __**it!**__ I can't __**think **__about this no more! It's drivin' me __**nutty! **__ Besides, I gotta focus on the task at hoof! I promised Rarity some a' mah prized ople cider an' that's __**just**__ what I'm gonna give 'er...or mah name ain't __**Oplejack!**_

Sometimes if one's mind is permitted to wander, the heights it can reach are eerie. Applejack's thoughts finally got to the point where she (briefly) entertained the possibility of finding a book in the library to research the song's origin. But an even better notion was to check out the-

"Ah! No way!" Applejack half-panicked.

She certainly had nothing against reading, but that didn't mean doing a study on every singly stray thought which didn't make sense.

Like some ponies she knew...

By coincidence, she realized that she was right outside the Golden Oak Library. Regardless of whatever she was thinking, paying Twilight Sparkle a quick visit didn't seem to be the worst idea in the world today.

Previously a longtime and faithful student of the great Princess Celestia, ruler over all of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle was sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. Despite a few rocky starts, she warmed up to the citizens, and before long she'd become one of Applejack's best, trusted and most closest friends.

Even with the handle of the basket in her mouth, Applejack smiled as she reached for the library door and-

**FWASH!**

"Whoa, Nelly! What the **hay!?**" she yelled, dropping the basket and retracting her hoof in response to the loud sound.

At the same time, bright, multicolored rays of light shot through the treehouse's windows (followed by some yelps and shouts coming from inside). Occurrences like these usually meant one thing...

"Good grief, that Twilight must be runnin' one of her dang 'experiments' again," she thought out loud. "I think I'll say hello later...I don't feel up to bein' on the **receiving** end of that unicorn's horn."

A.J. immediately picket up the basket and continued walking towards Rarity's home, albeit at a noticeably faster pace.

* * *

A "closed" sign had been attached to the Carousel Boutique's front door. Still, there was a fifty-fifty chance that Rarity might be home, and Applejack didn't exactly feel 100% comfortable leaving her goods on Rarity's doorstep for fear of it being stolen by somepony else.

She knocked on the door. No answer. So...

"Ev'rypony decent?" she called out. "I'm comin' in!"

Upon entering, the farm girl was surprised at what she saw. Rarity was indeed home, but she was as immersed with her work as Twilight was anytime she was paired up with a nice, thick book.

Removing her saddlebags and putting down the basket, A.J.'s green eyes moved right, left, up down, and every which way noticing glittery ribbons, threads, yarn and lots of other things moving about; more accurately, being levitated about by Rarity's glowing horn.

At least ten elaborate gowns were completed, but Applejack noticed they were all bore a variety of very dark colors. Her friend was undoubtedly composing an eleventh installment.

Suddenly, the notion of approaching Rarity didn't sound so wonderful. Nevertheless...

"Uh...'scuse me?"

"WHAT!?"

"Ahhhh!"

Applejack jumped a bit not only at her friend's outburst, but also from her appearance. The curls in her purple mane (and tail) had wilted considerably, there were bags under her eyes and an unpleasant scowl had replaced the normal beautiful smile that she gave off.

"Um...I came here to deliver s'm stuff...but you seem to...uh...that is...em, uh...is there anythin' you wanna talk about?"

"I'm hardly in the mood for chit-chat, Applejack...but if you **must** know...a rather unfortunate encounter with a pompous stallion earlier today left me..."

"Yeeeah?"

"Ahem...**testy.**"

"Y'mind givin' me a **lil'** more than that?"

"Simply put, I offered him a chance to escort me on a date tonight...and he said I wasn't his **type! **Really! What could've gotten into his head to suggest that Little Miss Rarity wasn't worth his **time?**"

Applejack knew her friend well enough to know that the wrong response might her exacerbate her already unstable state of mind. She struggled to choose her words carefully and not place her hoof in her mouth.

"Eh...dunno. I can't imagine," A.J. stated, trying to sound convincing.

"Exactly!" Rarity shot back. "But the negative experience wasn't without its upside or payoff! The imbecile's...**refusal**...inspired me to create...and create...and CREATE!"

"I saw them dresses when I came in! All I can say is...wow! Gotta hoof it t'ya, Rarity...yer stitchin' and sewin' up a **storm!** Y'really outdone yerself!"

"I'd thank you, but...the credit should truly go to a little thing called **adrenaline**...and as for the lineup in front of you, I call it...**THE DARK STORM COMETH!**"

Applejack meekly and softly clapped her hooves just to be polite.

"Not a bad name, sugarcube. It's very...imaginative."

Whatever the reason, Rarity seemed to calm down (for the moment) and did her best to put on a happy face.

"Glad you think so. Oh, be a dear and close the door while I tidy up."

Distracted by Rarity's behavior, Applejack was embarrassed to realize that she'd completely forgotten to close the front door.

"Oh, yeah...sure thing! Sorry 'bout that...ha, ha..." she nervously chuckled, turning around to comply with her friend's wishes.

Rarity held up her hoof as a gesture signifying that it was no big deal. Inserting some magic into the room, much of the stray fabric and materials that were strewn about were either placed back on their respective shelves or stacked neatly into a recognizable order.

The unicorn's decorated Persian cat, Opalescence, began to swipe her paw at the various items being levitated and moved about.

"Opal! Stop that!" scolded Rarity. "You know I love you dearly...but my patience is wearing thin today and your attempts to hinder my work performance will **not** be tolerated!"

The somewhat defiant kitty gave a yawn and what could be identified as an "insolent" hiss.

Her trusted friend Fluttershy was capable of handling Opalescence with extreme ease, but today she had a prior engagement.

Fluttershy was great with animals, but when push came to shove, she had more..."intense" methods for dealing with those that felt compelled to disobey. Rarity was now doing something similar as she delivered a **nasty** glare to her pet.

Opal's eyes went wide and she quickly put her paw down.

"I **trust** we understand each other, then?" Rarity growled.

The cat nodded furiously, as if her life depended on it. She wisely left the room, as her owner watched her every step.

"My apologies," Rarity sighed, turning back to Applejack. "You said you...**had** something for me?"

"Sure do!" Applejack chirped.

She picked up the basket she'd left by the front door (inside the Boutique) and dropped it at Rarity's feet.

"I always make good on mah promises, so I brought ya a basket of the most juicy, scrumptious fruit mah orchard can offer! So eat up! One bite of **ople** and you'll be as fit as a fiddle!"

Maybe it was the (unnecessarily) extreme stress she'd been under, but the dark demeanor Rarity previously radiated would threaten to show its ugly mug again after that last sentence.

"Beg your pardon, but did you say...**Opal?**" she asked cautiously, wanting to verify what she heard.

"You got it!" Applejack answered, good-naturedly.

"And I would eat Opal because...why?"

"Uhh...because just about **everypony** in Ponyville does...!"

"Well, I'm not everypony...**am **I? In case your memory and eyes aren't in perfect working order, I'm **Rarity!**"

The cowpony began to get annoyed...and anypony who knew Applejack well enough also knew that if pushed - physically or verbally - she'd push back just as hard (if not harder).

"Mah noggin **and** mah peepers are workin' jus' **fine! **And of **course** I know you're Rarity! Ya never fail to point it out **every** which way y'go!"

"Many a pony benefit from a reputation that precedes them! I so happen to fall into that category! But it doesn't change the fact that...I...don't...eat...**OPAL!**"

"Listen, you little picky eater...I ain't **forcin'** the goods down yer throat! If oples don't suit ya...then **don't** eat 'em!"

"I just **said** that! Don't you ever **listen**, you uncouth, stubborn, opinionated **farmhoof!?**"

"Not like I had muchuva choice, y'prim, proper, finicky **fashion fanatic! **I've listened to ev'ry last **syllable** that spills outta that **big** **mouth** o' yours!"

"BIG MOUTH!? Look who's talking! Just because your family provides a significant amount of food for the community doesn't mean you can **dictate** what I can or can't eat!"

"**I** ain't ta blame here! I was bein' my regular, neighborly self, payin' you a visit and generously offerin' some a' **mah** oples! But like always, Little Miss Rarity's gotta go and make a big deal outta **nothin'!** That's a mighty **fine** way of thankin' me for my kind gesture!"

"I'm 'making a big deal' because you're strongly suggesting I eat Opal! I find that utterly **repulsive!**"

Applejack was really angry now. What a pony chose to eat was their own decision. But when somepony had the nerve to insult the very food that financially supported the Apple family, they'd just found a fast way to summon disaster.

"Oh, no you **DIDN'T!**" she bellowed. "I **know** I just didn't hear you talkin' trash about oples!"

"The last time I checked, I was entitled to my own opinion...including my standpoint regarding you **or** Opal!" Rarity declared, rather smugly.

"Oples are **oples!** They're all natural, not to mention healthy and delicious! Also, when I eat my ople-"

"That's another thing! When did you take it into your head that Opal was **yours?**"

"Uh...'cause it IS! Always has been!"

"You need that brain examined! Working too many hours on that **farm** has messed with your mind!"

"How would **you** know? All you do is hide yerself away in this joint, obsessively thinkin' about them **jewel-laced wardrobes!**"

"**You're** the one who doesn't know what they're talking about! You couldn't even **begin** to fathom what my work entails!"

"Oh, **really?** Lesse here..."

Removing her hat, Applejack grabbed a square-shaped piece of fabric off of the floor (one the few that Rarity failed to pick up), positioned it on her head and tied the corners under her chin like a headscarf.

"Ooh, lookie me!" she said in a high-pitched voice.

Rarity stared at the sight in front of her, clearly not amused.

"I'm the BEE-**YOO**-TEE-FOOL Queen Rarity, worshipper of silky smooth, frou-frou dresses and I jus' **scream** at the sight of dust, puffy eyes, and **OPLE!**"

The frown on the unicorn's face changed to that of a smirk as her brain formulated the perfect countermeasure.

"Ha! Very chic, Applejack...but I do believe it's **my** turn now."

Rarity promptly picked up the Stetson hat that had been left on the floor and placed it on her own head.

"Ahem...well, **fry mah hide! **I'm yer friendly, neighborhood Applejack! This gal's main talent involves kicking things like trees and any **other** pony that gets in the way! Pardon these **muddy** hooves and **digustin' **sweat! I'm jus' takin' the heat somethin' **awful** tonight!"

"Mud an' sweat builds **character!** It's all part a' livin' on a farm **full** of oples!" Applejack retorted, removing the headscarf.

"While we're on the subject, Opal **never** makes me scream!" informed Rarity.

Working her magic once more, she tossed A.J.'s hat onto a nearby table, then turned back to her friend.

"All I'm saying is that I wouldn't **eat** Opal! Not even if my **life** depended on it!"

"Is that so?"

"**Quite** so, actually! I care far too much about Opal to stuff such a **darling** little thing into my belly!"

"Now wait just an **ople-pickin' minute!** First you go on a rant about how y'hate ople, but now yer sayin' that ya care more about ople than **life itself!? **For Pete's sake, Rarity...make up that darn **melon** o' yours! Havin' it both ways just don't mesh...ya can't have your ople **and** eat it too!"

The argument finally reached its boiling point, and each pony narrowed their eyes at their opponent, readying for the last round of bickering and bantering.

"Has this discussion been going in **circles? **I SAID I **SHAN'T** EAT OPAL!"

"Wouldn't matter if we were talkin' in **squares!** **I** SAID YA **AIN'T** GOTTA EAT OPLE!"

"I **WON'T!** BUT IF YOU'RE SO INTENT ON DOING SO, GET YOUR **OWN** PRECIOUS OPAL AND EAT TO YOUR HEART'S **CONTENT!**"

"I **WILL! ** I'LL EAT OPLE UNTIL THE END A' **TIME** IF I HAFTA, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"THANK **YOU!**"

"NO, THANK **YOU!**"

"**FINE!**"

"**FINE!**"

Rarity and Applejack squeezed their eyes shut and swiftly whipped their heads away from the sight of each other and ended the heated conversation with a simultaneous-

"**HMPH!**"

For the next twenty to thirty seconds, all was quiet in the Carousel Boutique. Neither pony dared to move a muscle.

After what felt like an eternity, two sets of eyes snapped open wide. The girls slowly turned their heads back to each other with an equal expression of uncertainty.

Applejack blinked once.

Then Rarity.

The former was the first to break the silence.

"Uh...wait a sec...just what in **tarnation** were we arguin' about again?"

"You know...I'm not sure anymore."

Immediately the mares were filled with shame, drinking in the reality of the situation. Nopony in existence was beyond petty arguing, but that didn't change what happened.

"Geez...even though she ain't here, I'm supposed to settin' a good example for mah little sister..." Applejack frowned, scuffing her hoof against the carpeted floor. "I...can't believe I let mah mouth run off like that..."

"I'm as much to blame," admitted a solemn, sighing Rarity. "My already agitated state certainly didn't help things...but that's no excuse for the horrible things I said."

"I'm real...**real** sorry for...well, whatever we were barkin' back and forth about."

"As am I."

"Truce?"

"Truce."

The two friends exchanged inevitable, apologetic smiles and hugged each other firmly and happily. Rarity magically lifted Applejack's hat and returned it to its place of origin.

"Then it's a done deal! Let's just drop the matter here and now, sugarcube. So...whaddya say we grab some grub?""

"Capital idea! I haven't had much to eat today."

Applejack and Rarity left the boutique, with the latter locking the front door. She then turned to ask...

"So...what sort of food are you in the mood for?"

"Hmm..."

Good question.

Although glad that the notorious debate was over and done with, Applejack ironically wanted to turn her attention (temporarily) away from the fruit growing on her farm back home, lest another confusing argument arise again.

She couldn't put her hoof on it, but a stray thought (perhaps a subconscious one) began to make its way to the surface. For the next few hours an odd craving for a new food would linger in her head and A.J. would find it difficult to consider eating anything else.

It was driving her bononos.

Well, maybe an establishment like Sugarcube Corner could calm her nerves. Something soothing such as a bonono shake or bonono split might do the trick. Rarity would probably be game for something like that, right?

"Say, Rarity...tell me somethin'. Y'like **bononos?**"

"**BO-WHAT-NOW!?**"

Indeed, Rarity.

Indeed.

**THE END (YEAH, RIGHT...)**

* * *

Whew! That wraps up my second MLP fanfic! A third one's coming soon and if my speed holds up (although it probably won't), you won't have to wait too long for it! Hoped you enjoyed the story and take care!


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